I like…

Today is a public blogging kind of day.
Unfortunately, I’ve got me a jolly-o exam tomorrow but please, when did that ever stop me from procrastinating?

Today is a quiet, sunny day.  Today, my hair fell just right, I liked my subtle but cheerful outfit, and for a moment, the heaviness was lifted and my mind feels well rested.  Usually, Sundays are a blur. Starting from the 8 o’clock whine of the alarm clock, to the 5 year old energizer bunnies at Sunday school, the  11 o’clock drone of service, to the half hour drive to choir practice, to another 1:30 service I can barely understand in korean, and then the final hum of another choir practice.  Yesl’s energy bar deplete. KO. The end. Goodnight.

Actually, Sunday has come to be the most challenging day of the week for me.  Not because of the busyness or the obligations, but because Sunday’s are filled with mental confrontations that test my spirit and intellect (ok and sometimes physical body…. those pre-schoolers… -___- too old for this).  Sometimes I dread going into service, because it’s become a rare occasion for me to leave feeling personally fulfilled, without questions and doubts and disagreements spilling from my brain and pores. Sometimes facing your own disbelief and discord inside is an ugly thing.  But I still go, week after week, because I believe that one day there won’t be anymore discord in me, and because simply keeping away from what is uncomfortable is a form of quitting. And I, Yesl Cho, am not a quitter!

Today, I also discovered something I’ve come to love.  Church choir.  There are some truly radiant and beautiful voices in my small choir, mine not included fo SHO… but for about 10 minutes, every Sunday, at approximately 1:50PM, I’ve had the privilege of being part of something that really is bigger than myself or the people around me.  It’s like God took the simple song of a bird and created a masterpiece through 10 normal people, 10 very flawed people. Sometimes it’s very hard and disheartening. But sometimes it melts my heart and it becomes the most genuine praise that I could have mustered all week.

This was very refreshing for me today, because lately I’ve been feeling like I’m losing my grasp on the things I love about life.  I can’t really remember, anymore, what makes me feel happy, and free, and passionate.  Ever feel like sometimes you’re just breathing and each day only leads to the next, and the next… and should you miss one day, it actually wouldn’t be missed at all?  It’s like my life has been given a shot or couple shots of lidocaine- keeps you from pain,  but also keeps you from those sensations you would prefer to keep.

Therefore, in a feeble attempt to inject some nerve endings back into my so called life, I’ve decided to make a short list of what I remember about the things I like and love, big and small. Here we go.

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The Great Outdoors.
So I hear this is a great appeal to guys. sure. The fit, active, sporty girl who can beat her boyfriend to the end of the 2 mile hiking mark in a stride and still look great in a sweat-free stretch tank. BLAH. I am not that girl. And that’s not what I mean by the great oudoors.
This past weekend I was dragged to a church camping trip out of pastor-daughterly obligation.  Some place in WVA called the Lost City. Despite my disappointment that I wasn’t going to be lounging under the soleil next to the crystal gates of Atlantis, I trucked my lazy ass through the endless cornfields and rocky dirt roads, all the way to………heaven. Well I didn’t see Jesus, or cupids or mounds of ice cream, but it was surprisingly serene and charming.  Guess WVA’s not just all about redneck’s and hillbillies (although I saw a  human skull resting on top of this one house’s mailbox out in the middle of nowhere…. O_O wins the award for most effective ‘keep away’ sign) It was the most relaxed and happy I’ve felt in a long time.  There was even a huge field of wild daisies!! The hills were definitely alive with the sound of music Next time, I must bring me along a namja to make me a daisy ring and frollick in the fields with. Jesus? You there? When?

Some pic-tours.

The gang.

With the parents.

Music.
It’s like a God-given remedy to…..anything.  Not fool-proof, but almost.
One thing I love is that you can be so damn real with music. You can curse the world and call your mother a whore and get away with it. In fact, people will either consider it as “artsy” and applaud you, or think you’re rebellious and funny and applaud you. Now I don’t condone calling your mother a whore, but you get the concept?  You can expose your soul, yet not be vulnerable.  Or it can mean absolutely nothing. I once wrote a song about twizzlers pull n’ peels,  and it somehow became personally enriching.  I think church hymns are great, I love musicals, and female singer-songwriters, and J.R. Richards. I’m starting to appreciate jazzier, more soulful tunes. It leaves you with a smile.
On a side, I went to a Jason Mraz concert recently and was blown away by the sheer talent.  I’ve always heard he was a bit of an arrogant prick, but now that is dismissable. You can’t be that endowed as a human being and NOT be an arrogant prick. It’s against the nature of human-ness.  God mraz, I wish you were less famous. I would love you so much more.

More pic-tours.

Before you go on judging us for our neon-colored Jason Mraz fan tshirts… it was POURING that day. We had no choice…

Tom cut off my J and Chiu’s M. I am not randomly pointing at the sky and Chiu is not trying to look cute.  Well, maybe he is.

Mr.A-Z, when he came out to the lawn Wish I got a better shot.

The Beach.
Maybe this falls into “The Great Outdoors” category, but I feel it deserves it’s own.
But, I’m gonna be honest with you.  I only love the beach when I am skinny and in shape.  When I am flabby and my thighs are shining half the sun in your face, I don’t care how blue the waters are or how soft the sand is.  I hate the beach.   Along those lines… I may  just hate my beach trip coming up this weekend…

Commas.
I, love commas.  I think they’re wonderful.  Whoever invented commas (no really though, who invented commas? I just googled it and got nuthin’) deserves a free ham n’ turkey sandwich.  You will notice, my extensive use, of commas. That’s because, I love them. Don’t ask me why. I just do.

All-Nighters.
This can be misleading.  I do not mean all-nighters in the study context.  I mean, chatting so late with a friend that you watch the sunrise together kind of all-nighters.  Sprawled on a couch somewhere, semi-conscious, drunk on the lazy drone of sleepiness but feelings of peaceful contentment as you linger on the most satisfying 6 hour conversation you’ve ever had with someone on absolutely nothing.  And then, suffering the whole next day together.
I miss it.

Um…………….

I like my pink teddy bear from my 24th birthday.
I like juicy pear and top banana jelly bellys.

I like this tiny bunny I found in my backyard. More than Hazel because it’s cuter than her. SIKE.

I LOVVVVVVVVVVVVVE my nephewwwwwww SOOOOOOOOOOoo CUTTTTTTTTTTTTE

I like this.
And this.

Oh god. And this.

And this.

Just kidding. Now I’m just picking random pictures on my computer. I don’t know why I have a picture of depends adult diapers on my computer.

I think I’m done. Maybe I’ll add more as I think of them.

Time to crush, or get crushed.