*Yawn.

I’m in a somewhat restless place in my life right now. Not quite a student, but unemployed.  Not directionless, but unanchored.  I kind of wish the next 8 months will whisk on by, straight to the part I receive [hopefully] acceptance letters from pharmacy schools. And I will finally feel settled, situated, hitched!

In some ways, that’s exactly where I am in other areas of my life.  I’ve always concealed a glint of envy for those who seem so focused, so purposed in their pursuits, like they are following a clear and decisive trajectory to their intentional destination, wherever it may be.  To have a destination, a purpose and conviction is a blessing.  It’s like having a roadmap- it may not tell you exactly how to get there, but at least you know where you’re going.

I’m a day to day kind of gal, me thinks.  I’m not fond of thinking too far ahead, schedules aren’t truly my thing, and I hate packing clothes for a trip because I just can never tell what mood I’ll be in to wear what on what day.  I like to think I’m open-minded and adventurous, unbound, maybe even spontaneous. But then on many occasions I realize that really, I’m a bit shy of any of those.  Another side of me likes to play safe, follow the well-travelled path, afraid to let go of securities.  And when those securities build on you like layers of dust, doesn’t life get a bit bland?  Maybe what’s making me so restless right now is not necessarily the guesswork of my future, but the predictability of my present.

When have I become so boring?