Mind suppressed.

NO BLOGGING TILL FINALS ARE OVER. BLAHHHHHHHhhhHHhHHhhh. 

But I will say this.

Joanne Kim, you rock my world.
You super hot rockstar chick I’d hit if I were a boy, you!

Picking up the pieces.

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn…

The morning song.

I woke up this morning to my alarm whining at 8:30AM, threw an arm at it, and slept for another hour.  At 9:30AM, I finally opened my eyes and sluggishly observed a dewy breeze coming from the window at the head of my bed, and a buttery maple walnut scent, a distant leftover from last night’s burning martha stewart jar candle.  Ah martha stewart, you do me well.  Then I dug myself deeper into my beloved korean mink blanket and bicycled in my bed for the next 5 minutes, right up until Hazel, to my surprise, leaped gracefully onto my hip.  I say surprise because I keep her gated in her corner during the nights to limit her nightly misdeeds.  And this is a pretty heavy duty plastic, meant-for-dogs kind of gate.  How did she get out? My suspicions are confirmed- there is a meticulously tattered and convenient hole she’s bitten through, one that she’s been artfully working on for the past month of her shackled life, and today is liberation day.  Oh Hazel, what will I do with you and your little mischevious heart?

So she proceeds to do what she always does when she sees me laying in my bed- she digs her snout insistently underneath my palm and waits, for about 4 seconds, after which she decides she will nip me gently, as if to say “c’mon, get a move on, i have the patience of a peanut”.  Now I am usually pretty mean to her and intolerant towards this behavior, because well, I can be because I am much bigger than her. But today, instead of my usual shove that will get Hazel flying off my bed and my nose block that will keep her from flying back, I thought to myself, ‘you know, you’re actually kinda cute today’.  So here we were, my hand forgivingly rubbing Hazel’s head and Hazel, eyes half closed, paralyzed in quiet, lazy bliss- a peaceful and satisfying morning. 

Mornings often set the tone for the rest of the day for me.  And so it occurred to me- I should get married soon. I’d wake up every morning to a face, a smell, a warmth I adore and there is my perfect day, everyday. Of course until we get out of bed, at which time I will remember that he is a male, and I am better off alone in my independent, emotional bondage-free, clear-thinking world. More cheerios for me, anyway.

Today, I think I’ll have a good day.

A Good Day (Morning Song)  - Priscilla Ahn

Morning
Sunrise
Open my eyes

And I can tell it’s gonna be a good day
I can tell it’s gonna be a good day

Did you sleep well?
Did you dream at all?
Can you tell me the time?
On the alarm clock

I can tell it’s gonna be a good day
I can tell it’s gonna be a good day

But you can sleep in
You just keep dreamin’
For us

I can tell it’s gonna be a good day
I can tell it’s gonna be a good day

Get by.

I’ve suddenly lost all motivation to do anything. 
I need to shower. My room’s a junkyard. Hazel’s hungry. I’m hungry. Marty’s gone untouched for days now. Poor thing. You need new strings. Baby, how I neglect you. I like short sentences.

I was gonna write a hate post on my newly aquired computophage on my perishing laptop and all those lowlife virus makers out there, but I’ve lost motivation to do that too.  I am discovering,  however, that grassy folk music is hypnotic to the apathetic soul. And Keane.

I have writers block- but not because I am a blank page on thoughts, but because I am suffering from sensory overload, an inability to make sense and put together all the pieces of my cluttered thoughts and the bizarre sequence of events that defines my life at the moment. 

Ergo, the short, disconnected paragraphs.  I used to hate people who used the word “ergo”. There’s just something so pompous and assuming about that word. Why can’t you just say “so” or “therefore”, you show-off douchbag?? I know, give me some zoloft.

This post is progressively becoming the most useless post ever.

Okay, lets salvage what I can of it.  Despite this day being unbelievably unproductive- my one accomplishment being that I made it to my lab and grew some homemade staphys- I did run into an event that nudged my damp, thoughtless day.  There was some kind of global peace festival going on on-campus hosted by a campus christian organization that drew a spark of my attention, so I decided to sit in with the small audience of maybe 20-30 people to see what the fuss was about.  There was a guest speaker, a very African man adorned in colorful tribal gear and ethnic knick-knacks, and a thick, heavy accent that, while being quite charming, made it exhausting to understand a thing he was saying.  All I remember is “we gata steek toogedda! steek toogedda my braddas! my braddas!” And then he ushered the small group of onlookers to physically draw in closer, to get more intimate with him and each other.  This is when I and all of my social awareness started to become slightly uncomfortable.  I’ll keep my distance, thank you.  The next part of this event was nothing short of awkward and amazing at the same time.  Some of the members of the hosting christian organization stepped forward and they, along with the African man began singing and dancing to some African culture-inspired gospel songs.  My attention is fixed on one young white guy, and let me tell you… I’m not really a mean person, but this guy… he was a nerd. Straight up, darth vader worshipping, excaliber swords and daggers, taped glasses, sock-exposed kind of nerd. And to make it worse, his singing sounded like a group of hyenas and donkeys decided to have a party and start singing together. Observational description, not trying to be mean, mostly because during those 5 minutes of shockingly abandoned praise to God, I fell in love with the nerd. In all of his embarrassing displays of social kills and musical illiteracy, the boy had passion- his passion for God, and for world peace and love and whatever else they were advocating.  And here I was, unwilling to even move up a couple rows in order to maintain my trivial outward cool of apathy and uninvolvement of a cause that I do in fact believe in.  I had to give it to him at that moment.  He was way cooler than me.

It brings me some solace to know that I have, in fact, matured somewhat over the past couple years.  I remember when the world used to be all about me, especially when times got tough.  I felt justified in my depression, convinced that someone/something had hurt and wronged me of my rights to pursue happyness, and that this happyness of mine, being of such a precious nature, in its tampering, authorized me to spew my woes onto not only others but to myself and my well-being. 

If ever there is a more practical lesson to learn, it’s that people are never quite as honest as you’d like them to be in the real world, and that well, frankly, we are never quite as honest to others or ourselves as we’d hope to be either.  It’s no surprise then, that we spend a lot of our lives in a circular game of tag n’ chase, chasing after a false truth made up in our psyche and egged on by the dishonest other.  But I think that’s just life.  And that’s why we can’t take life too seriously.  Besides, once you take your eyes off of yourself and observe what’s around you, you’ll see buck teeth and freckles and wonderful social disasters, and it’ll help you to get by. Well…sort of.

 

This is one of my favorite music vids.
Great song by Keane – “Bedshaped”

Inspiration.

Four things inspire me to write a new blog entry.

1. Music.
This is pretty obvious from all the youtube vids I put up.  I do find it necessary to share a good song (if this seems contradictory to my former post about me being a stingy music hog, well, that’s because it is. No, I was referring to only a select bunch of songs, not the general mass of songs I have). The other day (it should be noted that this phrase ‘the other day’ can refer to any number of time periods, from yesterday to last week to 3 years ago) I walked into a small thrift store and was surprised to find a pretty decent stash of used cd’s.  I spent the next hour tediously going through every single one of them and ended up gathering a pretty massive collection for myself that must have inclined a store-worker to retrieve a large basket for me, sweet lady. I found a sixpence none the richer cd for $.40 and a ingrid michaelson cd for $1.20, a jeff buckley cd for $2.20 (who decides these prices anyway?), and about 6 disney princess sing-a-long cd’s for $.60 each!! Sadly I had to put back about 4 of them, because I already had all of the songs.  I walked out with those, along with about 13 other cd’s, feeling pretty good about myself, like I had somehow cheating the world.  18 cd’s for $31!  Thrift stores, baby… the place to go.

Also, I’ve discovered pandora.com thanks to a friend, and I’ve decided to change my stance on technology.  If you’re looking to find some new tunes, it’s definitely worth taking a look at.  Basically you enter one of your favorite songs/artists, and based on the characteristics of that song/artist (such as song structure, key tonality, syncopation, lyrics, etc.) the ‘music genome project’ finds similar songs they think you’ll also like and plays them for you.  Sweet, my own personalized radio.  Although, it is not a perfect system.  Take today, I put in “dishwalla” and they gave me bands like third eye blind, three doors down, goo goo dolls (goo goo dolls?!??)… I was slightly offended.

2. Emo-causing events.
Luckily for you (you, as in all 4 of my blog readers…) the vast majority of these entries go privated.  This is because one too many times I’ve written a at-the-time very heartfelt, depressing, lyrical entry (there probably was some k-pop in the background during the time), and the next morning you read the pansy entry again while listening to Hellogoodbye and think to yourself, ‘wtf was I thinking??’
I don’t necessarily think these entries are worthless, thus the reason I don’t obliterate them altogether.  But to the public reader, who could be miles away in emotional condition while reading it, it could be quite the annoying, or comical read.  I know this, because it’s how I feel when I read emo-entries.  And as much as some say blogging is a personal thing, an emotional outlet without regard for how others will think…where you can ‘be yourself’, I happen to care very much about what others think of me.  Maybe I should stick to writing songs instead.

3. Others’ writings.
I don’t know you, and you really don’t know me, but oh, how I do read your entries religiously. Why do your blog stats shoot up in between posts? Yeah, that would be me.  I adore creative writers.  Their ability to portray true emotion in a non-emotional, but real and accurate way is refreshing and addictive.  Sometimes the language is so simple, no convoluted sentences and showy vocab, but the writing is constructed in the exact way it needed to be to relay this particular message.  I am jealous.  And you inspire me.

4. Boredom.
I really have nothing better to do. No, really. It’s usually a choice between blogging and studying and fighting with my rabbit.  Not such a difficult choice. 

But now this entry is getting very boring too, so it ends now.

Tick, tock.

4:10 AM.  I like how at this hour, if I sit real still and just listen, the only sounds I hear is the ticking of the clock, hanging somewhat crooked on my wall and constantly rebuking me for being too darn lazy to burn the whole 3 calories it would take to lift my finger and tilt it back into place, and the sound of occasional cars driving by my house.  For some odd reason, I really like this combination of sounds. The consistency of the metronome is somewhat soothing, but at the same time there’s inconsistency as well, because you can never quite tell when the next whiz of a late night drive-by will happen.  But there always IS another one sooner or later, and well, maybe that, after all, makes it consistent.  Anyway, this is usually how I fall asleep every night.  Listening to and tucked to bed by these two sounds.

Tonight I celebrated with newly weds Mr. and Mrs. Ok (congrats, again ). Weddings are always such an interesting experience for me.  I’ve always felt something so wonderfully (but sometimes disturbingly) supernatural about weddings… so holy and complete.  And when I see the mere human pastor up at the alter presiding over the wedding ceremony, I can’t help but always be in awe of how a tangible man-made event decorated in dresses and cakes and petals and sparking cider…can be used to lock in an eternal, divine, and heaven-sent deal.  It kinda chills me.  Because it’s so cool, and it’s also so scary. 

I also like to do a lot of people-watching at weddings.  Creepy, maybe, but the formality of weddings sort of clobber me so I center my outlet on quietly evaluating and judging others.  Just kidding, I try not to judge.  Observe, is a more welcoming word.  I observe people.  And based on my observations, I then draw in a big white dialogue box above their heads and guess at what they are thinking or would be thinking at that time, and what emotion they are representing.  Like you ever see those refrigerator stickies of a whole bunch of cartoon faces, each with an exaggerated and distinct emotion?  I decide what face they are. I get an inkling that may be a weird thing to do, but at any rate, it passes time and keeps me distracted from my own awkwardness and inability to thrive in such social settings.  “Wallflower” by Priscilla Ahn. She says it all too well.

Dancing. Lots of dancing today. And laughing, drinking, toasting, flashing (camera, fools), beauty, heels, sprinklers, fondue, men and women celebrating and being merry. Makes me wanna be a wedding-crasher.

This is a song that reminds me of tonight.  Wilco – “Sky Blue Sky”.  I always feel a little better after listening to this song.
Oh, I didn’t die.
I should be satisfied,
I survived.
That’s good enough for now.

Goodnight, sweet dreams.

Rain-induced.

I would just like to announce that yesterday, I had an FML that would no doubt win the FML award of the century.  I can imagine it now… they will call my name, hand me an artificial gold-painted trophy with the bold inscription “MOST EFFED UP LIFE – 1ST PLACE” on it, and after I give a speech on who I’d like to thank for my effed up life, people will cheer, on their feet, for my effed up life. Fantastic.

No, I do not plan on sharing this FML.

But in the spirit of FML’s…
I’m sure we’ve all seen this before, but I can’t get enough of these japanese pranks.  Only in Japan, are they twisted and immoral enough….. just kidding, I love you, Japan. <3

So the Nats game I was planning on going to tonight got cancelled last minute because of rain, and consequently, I am a bit disappointed I won’t be able to show off my new Nats gear and cheer for a team I frankly have no particular interest in, because it beats sitting in my shoddy room with nothing to do but play with my ugly bunny and stare at my blue walls of brown clouds.  So here I am sitting in my shoddy room playing with Hazel and staring at the sky, figuring out how to avoid studying for this bloody exam that is a-comin’ tomorrow.  Blogging is doing a wonderful job.  As always, I must share what jams are gracing my WMP at the moment.

Mood: head bangin’ rock (the prance around your room while air-guitaring and pretending you have the most kickass mohawk kind)

1. Muse – Exo-Politics (Black Holes and Revelations album) I love this album because it’s so awesomely political, this song included. But apart from the lyrics, the melody begins with a mysterious, spacey, intergalactic journey-esque feel, as the “conspiracies unwind”…then the chorus takes you into a full out rebellion and now you are dancing and prancing like a wonderful idiot. IT IS EGGCELLENT.

2. Kings of Leon – Sex on Fire
This song is just straight bangin’, and I am so uncool for using that word, but BANGIN’ I SAY!!! No pun intended.  Some of you may think I’m a perv for loving this song, but to that I say, YOU ARE THE PERV because this song is sooo much more than about sex!…..I think..

3. Radiohead – Reckoner
Alright I lied, this is not a head banging song, but still a quality song nonetheless.  Strangely, the rather harsh percussions that start off this song mixes quite tastefully with Thorn Yorke’s use of falsetto throughout this song.

3. Sarah Silverman – The Poop Song
Why am I being reminded of this song all day today?

While we’re still along this train of thought, I shall end by informing you ladies out there- I learned in my microbio class the other day that you can avoid up to hundreds of harmful diseases by doing just one thing: wiping from front to back. Amazing, isn’t it? DO IT.

Angels or devils.

This post is dedicated to a band that has quite possibly been the most influential band in my life.  I hesitate to claim them as my ‘favorite’ band because while their music is hauntingly wonderful, I have mainly focused on just one of their four studio albums, and their songs mostly elude my playlist on the normal occasion.  They are, however, included in my goldmine playlist- my secret stash of soul-rocking personal favorites.

I’ve got to admit, I’ve been selfish with this secret playlist of mine.  I’m one who tends to get disappointed when I hear a good song being played on the radio, as though exposure to the masses will in some eventual way, corrode the quality of the song, the innocence behind the music.  So I keep all the great jams to myself, UNLESS…. I find you “worthy” in my books, to discover and appreciate the magic of song john doe.  I’m aware of the arrogance of this.  See, I think listening to music is like watching a movie.  There are some who watch a film for pure entertainment purposes- visual hedonism, or ‘escapism’ is I think the technical term they use.  Most movies these days are produced for just that, in bulk, with a perpetual recycling of plots and storylines.  It’s more like a hollywood competition to see who can make the coolest computer-generated animation and special effects that will allow the audience to have a transient virtual experience unattainable in the real world, or who can have the hottest actress.  Ok I guess that in itself can be an art, such as cinematography and…..and well I’m sure there are other aspects of Fast and the Furious or James Bond or Transformers that can be ‘artistic’, I don’t know. I am certainly not well trained in evaluating film, so before you go on hating me for bashing your precious James Bond movie, keep in mind I am only using this as an illustration. 

Going back to my point, a listener can just as well listen to a song for sole entertainment purposes, and while music, indeed, is a form of entertainment in the sense that it is enjoyable to engage in- listening or creating- for some there is no second thought in learning and experiencing the soul of a song, for lack of a better word. A less emo way to put it may be the message or story behind the song.  Now as a disclaimer, I’m not saying I take every single song I come across and break it down into it’s parts, thinking long and hard for hours on the moral flavor of it to see how it will erupt my life.  Sure enough, some songs were never made for that.  Just like today’s movies, some songs are created merely to tickle the ears, and I’d say the vast majority of the music on my laptop have only been played through as background noise during my daily doings.  However… there are some songs, in my opinion, that are too powerful to be set aside after anything less than a genuine appreciation for the heart that went into it, and it’s ability to reach your own, with or without your permission. 

Here’s a song by Dishwalla called “Angels or Devils”.  With this song and his beautiful voice, JR Richards had me at verse 1. And then kept me with the rest of the song. It’s about the perpetual struggle we all feel inside of us as we fight our own demons, and sometimes, lose.

Still I can see the pain in you
And I can see the love in you
And fighting all the demons will take time
It will take time

The angels, they burn inside for us
Are we ever,
Are we ever gonna learn to fly?
The devils, they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down?
Come around
I’m always gonna worry about
The things that could make us cold

This is the live version.  The video of the original version had too many distracting scenes of Kristin Kreuk and I felt it would take away from the focus!

Another of my favorites, ”Candleburn”. I’ve read some crazy interpretations of this song. My favorite portion in this song comes from the first verse and chorus.

On Vineland, past the candle shrine
That burns on every night
For someone.
She lets herself go
Like an angel in the snow
She lays down on her back
Down on her back she goes

Take me over when I’m gone
Take me over, make me strong
Take me over when I’m gone
Will they burn for me? 

This song reminds me of the question that sometimes haunts us, of what legacy we will leave in the life of the person we love when we are gone.  “on Vineland, past the candle shrine that melts into the street design, she waits- for someone.” For me, that brings a very beautiful picture to my head, of someone waiting next to a burning candle shrine for the person she loves, before it burns out, at which point she’ll “break apart all by herself.”

Ok there are tons more, but it’s late and this post has quickly become more of an undertaking than I had anticipated. 

On a side- as of late, Cartman, Butters, Sawyer, and Hazel have become my new bestest friends.  They are always there for me and I have come to adore them. And the more I trade in my human friends for these clearly higher-quality friends, the more I seem to have become obsessed with music and finding new tunes and artists to drown out the mundaneness of my so called life.  Thus this ridiculous essay on a mere two songs. Let’s make it eight.

Notable Dishwalla songs: Until I Wake Up, Give, Drawn Out, Every Little Thing, Today Tonight, Collide.

 

All hail Dishwalla.

(not in like a heretical way).

An island of reality, in an ocean of diarrhea.

So here’s a little grunt I have with Mr. Perception.  It’s not too much to say, our entire lives are governed by our perception of our world- our own unique, custom designed world of friends, lovers, celebrities, terrorists, tastes, God(s), stocks, philosophies, fears, and what have you.  The older you are, the more experiences/memories you’ve attained to build upon schemas upon schemas, all zapping and yapping together in your brain nerves to form one synergistic view of ‘the world’.  Now how person A views the world could be like hot chocolate with marshmellows compared to cold durian juice of person B. Or person C sees the world like Dishwalla and person D sees Mr.Potatohead.  The point I’m making is, how two people see the exact same world can be completely different and unrelated, in different dimensions of reality and knowledge and understanding.  For example, most North Koreans actually love Kim Jung Il and believe he is a semi-God, and that their way of life (ie. starvation and death) is in some part, the norm.  Some would probably even believe that the rest of the world looks and is just like them. Human rights? What’s that? In other parts of the world, beating your wives to a pulp and selling your daughters is a man’s right.  No one sees anything unfortunate about that picture.  Or take China, a non-Christian country, where gender-selective abortion is fully legalized and widely available at any stage of pregnancy.  Does this make them less ‘good’ people? Our own American idea of good and bad might answer “yes”.  But here’s where I think Mr.Perception plays a little game of misconception. At what point are all your accumulated opinions and perceptions of right and wrong, pretty and ugly, big and small, happy and unhappy…based on reality or some kind of ‘truth’, or simply based on some intricate networking of brain neurons that are run by pure experience or prolonged exposure to tradition and culture.  Our brains are so well-designed to adjusting ourselves to better adapt and function in our apparent environment.  Trauma victims who genuinely can’t recollect a single memory of the trauma-causing event? Seeing angled lines when in fact they’re straight?  Take a class on perception of psychology and you’ll discover how incredibly stupid and oblivious, yet adapted and better functioning your brain makes you.  Our brain actually makes dumbasses of ourselves SO THAT we can be more fit to live life, and be happier living it.   So is this world really truly how we see it? Or is it merely in the form that will fill our bellies?

But really, I want to take that down a notch, or 40 notches, to the level of relationships.  Honestly, in my measley 23 years of having had relationships, I’ve learned only that relationships- ALL of them- are dysfunctional.  Ok I lie, that’s not all I learned, but let’s reiterate the point, people+people=DURIAN! (fyi, durian is a fruit that tastes like monkey fungus) To be more specific…. girl+boy=durian.  Apart from the virtual impossibility of both parties staying on the same course at the same time, each party veers off into some unknowingly detrimental direction from their own line of path, and before you know it both boy and girl have become confused bees flying around in a random chaos.  And yet we still barf out our hearts like it’s destiny, or right, or beautiful in some dramatic way, and we continue to trust. We continue to hope.  Because somewhere in the corner of our beaten up, confused, and tired minds, there is a memory that can bag it all.  The problem is that a memory is merely a memory… truth is altogether separate.

But is truth necessarily what we always look for? Maybe it’s better to stay submerged in the ocean of mis-perception, if it’ll keep you happy just a little while longer.  Maybe that’s why even while seeing the outcome probability in plain view, I wipe the dirt off my shoulders and replay our jam over and over again, letting things remain the way inertia wants it to. My physics teacher told me not to try defying inertia.  He was a jackass.

 

And I end with my current obsession- Sia “Day Too Soon”

Bonjour, monde des blogs.

Ah, blogging.

Ever since the demise of xanga (does anyone still have an active xanga account, btw? and is asian?) I’ve very much missed the access we used to have to each other’s thoughts and details of existence.  Now we are limited to facebook and gchat statuses (cause let’s admit, who really reads facebook notes without pictures or video links? Besides those useless-facts-about-me-list notes that of course no one hesitates to do).  At any rate, I’m hoping we jump back into an era of written [typed] words. And, I’d like to add that I am in part proud of my [somewhat] lack of adherence to this age of global technology. My only requirement for a phone is still just that it has a color screen, a camera, and it works. Please refrain from using vocabs such as BIT or CPU or IP number or HTML in my presence as I will roll my eyes and hand you a book, one that I hypocritically do not read myself.

(Three months from now when my 2 year phone contract is over and I finally get a sweet new phone, I will regret this post.)

So today I am spending my Thursday afternoon at my current-favorite spot on the Maryland campus (this favorite spot generally changes everytime I come on campus). The temp is a perfect 62 degrees, full sunshine, light breeze, and that means that I am pretending that I am a cute UNDERgraduate asian girl, doing college-y things like fumbling with ipods while lounging on beds of grass, flip-flop free, head on a northface backpack, etc. I am even sporting my one and only Maryland gear. I am turning into a turtle, a muscular one.

Anyway, while I’m here sitting under the nauseating weather, two songs are repeating on my playlist, both very different from each other in nature.  The first is “Never Leave My Room Again” by Adron. I discovered this girl just the other day and found myself being intrigued by her somewhat bizarre, brazilian tropicalesque but so carefree and relaxing style, and now I’m hooked.  She’s a BEAST at the classical guitar. This is the only video I could find of her online:

The second song is “Moving Mountains” by Usher. Ah, Usher. Usher Raymond IV. Really, how does such great music come from such lousy pricks sometimes? And as I write that, instantly, Kanye West also comes to mind. Speaking of which, this week’s episode of South Park……..???? ANYONE??? (EDIT: KANYE CHECKS HIS EGO!) Matt Stone and Trey Park are pure brilliance and genius. I am very saddened that I have finished watching the 13 seasons, and am now limited to watching only one episode a week.  But back to topic. This song was introduced to me by someone who’s love for the song drove me to love it as well.  Now I’m one for lyrics moreso than melody, and quite honestly I wasn’t terribly floored by the lyrics to this song at first, but the trick is throwing on a pair of cool sunglasses, sitting back in your chair and letting the beat smother your SOULL. Towards the latter half of the song, the bass line is sweet.

I know sorry, just wouldn’t do it,
Her heart is obliterated, I’m trying to get through
Gotta move this mountain…
It’s like moving mountains…

Just a random bit of info: I saw four Chevy Tahoe’s today in the span of 1.5 hours and I was in a bit of disbelief.  I then proceeded to cry a river at the inhumanity of life.  Stop driving Tahoe’s! American automobiles suck anyway, go get a Kia. So I fed myself some green tea ice cream.

Oh I’ll be so alone without you,
Maybe you’ll be lonesome too.